SO WE JUST RETURNED FROM THE SECOND RECORDING SESSION IN PARIS. ALL THE MUSIC IS J’AI FINI, ALL THE RECORDERS, SPADES, HEAVY BREATHING, MOST OF THE WORDS - ALL EXCEPT SOME LAST ONES ON THE LAST SONG THAT WE JUST HAD A MASSIVE ROW ABOUT. WE’RE COMING BACK TO PARIS NEXT MONTH TO ADD ALL THE FINISHING TOUCHES, TALK ABOUT MIXES, ADD MORE SPADES, SLAM MORE DOORS, DO MORE SHAKY EGG OVERDUBS. IT’S AS FILTHY AS A PARISIAN TRAMP SLEEPING IN A CHILD’S PLAY AREA AT 1PM. ADAM GETS THINGS RIGHT IN THE FIRST TAKE, JAMES GETS THINGS RIGHT IN THE FIRST TAKE, LOUISE GETS THINGS RIGHT IN 16 MINUTES AND HEDD TAKES ROUGHLY 43 HOURS. WE BROKE A GUITAR. WE JUST PLAYED OUR FRENCH SOUND ENGINEER, ANNE-SOPHIE, THE FRENCH LANGUAGE SONG WE DID AGES AGO. SHE ONLY RECOGNISED 4 WORDS - MER, PLAGUE, NEUF AND AVION AND SHE INITIALLY THOUGHT IT WAS IN WELSH. WE’VE SEEN TELEVISED RAPE, MURDER AND HEARD DECAPITATION NOISES UNDER THE PARENTAL GUIDANCE OF 12+ ON EARLY MORNING FRENCH TV. EVERYDAY DAY WE BIKE TO THE STUDIO ON LA VELO DE BORIS. THE FLAT WE SLEEP IN LIGHTS UP ONCE EVERY THREE MINUTES WITH EIFFEL TOWER ROUND LIGHTS. WE MET J&Y - LOUD PARISIAN NOISE BAND, AND DRANK STOUT ON THE PARIS PLAGUES. WE SWIM, I WIN. NOISES-WISE WE’VE BEEN STEALING/REFERENCING SLEIGH BELLS, WIRE, BEACH BOYS (HEROES AND VILLAINS) ZIGGY STARDUST (SPIDERS FROM MARS), THE GOOD THE BAD AND UGLY SOUNDTRACK & JACK WHITE (BLUNDERBUSS). TOGETHER WE’RE READING LONESOME DOVE, LITTLE BIRDS, MY BOOKY WOOK, CALVIN & HOBBES AND THE HUNGER GAMES 1, 2 & 3. SLOVAKIA WAS THE BEST WEEKEND EVER. EIGHT ELEVENTHS OF THE WAY THROUGH THE SET WE GOT STOPPED AND EVACUATED - THERE WERE HUGE LIGHTNING STORMS AND ALL PLAY STOPPED. THEY LOCKED US IN A SMALL CABIN WITH SLOVAKIAN BEER ON TAP, WHICH WAS A PLUS BUT IT WAS RUBBISH NOT TO FINISH THE BEST GIG WE’VE EVER DONE. NEXT WEEKEND WE’RE PLAYING GREENMAN FESTIVAL - WE ON PLAY SATURDAY - SORRY FOR THE SHORT NOTICE, I GOT CONFUSED ABOUT WHICH MONTH WE WERE IN.
Slovakian AA meeting
So we’re in Paris making a record.
1: We’ve finished recording all the drums, spades and bells for 13 songs. Today we’re doing guitars, bravely disregarding the Guardian’s sound advice.
2: We have to poo in a hole here, which is a terrible combination with the triple powered expresso machine.
3: Indochine just came down to see us in the studio (super huge French band). They might be remixing some of the hits.
4: Recurring themes in the 13 songs are children and holes.
5: Anne Sophie (our superhuman Parisian sound engineer) has been playing all the hard bits of guitar and singing French backing vocals.
6: When we’re not in this hot red box of noise we’ve mainly been driving round Paris drunk listening to Depeche Mode and watching fIlms about Paris.
7: Tomorrow we’re going to record some drums and a recorder 5 floors underground in a multi-story car park.
8: The studio has huge reflective glass windows so we spend a lot of time watching a lot of people checking out the size of their own bottoms.
9: This record is powered by Lion bar cereal, the best French delicacy in all the world.
10: The gig on Friday at L’international was astoundingly good. The rider was made of Mojitos and we got injuries as a result - I smashed my bass into my head and there was a lot of blood going on on stage. It’s our favourite place.
11: Charrlotte Gainsborg lives next door to us.
12: An idiot crashed into the side of our van, what the hell. How much space do drivers need.
13: We’re learning which inanimate objects in France are male or female - my guitar is a female and so is a baguette. A floor tile is a man. I envy the job of deciding whether new objects are boys or girls and working out the procedures and checks that must happen.
14: We’re migrating to Paris, au revoir Londres.
15: On Thursday we go to Slovakia.
Adam’s hot new look - on Friday at the Garage.
1. WE’RE PLAYING THE CAMDEN CRAWL ON SUNDAY 6TH MAY.
2. WE’RE GOING TO PARIS IN JUNE TO RECORD SOME MUSIC IN A STUDIO.
3. WE’RE GOING TO PLAY A GIG IN PARIS TOO, AT L’INTERNATIONAL, WHERE WE PLAYED ON HALLOWEEN LAST YEAR, BECAUSE WE LIKED IT THERE.
4. WE’RE PLAYING A SHOW IN LONDON, UPSTAIRS AT THE GARAGE ON 1ST JUNE. ADAM’S GOING TO DRESS LIKE ALICE COOPER - THAT’S WHAT HE SAID AT PRACTICE YESTERDAY ANYWAY.
5. WE’RE GOING TO SLOVAKIA TO PLAY SOME SONGS AT A BIG FESTIVAL IN JULY
6. WE’RE GOING TO FINISH MAKING A RECORD. WHEN THE BUCKET OF NOISE IS COOKED WE’RE GOING TO RELEASE IT, PROBABLY ON A BIG BLACK RECORD, BUT I HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT IT YET. MAYBE IT’LL BE RED.
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LIsten … at 1.27 - Bag of Meat